Back to School during COVID-19 is presenting every family with challenges. Things seem to change daily, with coronavirus numbers rising, and kids don't know what they can count on. Adding the challenges of being a family of divorce sometimes magnifies these challenges. It’s hard for parents to plan when things change daily, both in terms of what school or childcare can be like and with what job expectations may change as well.  

Trying to navigate co-parenting during COVID-19 has been a bit of a challenge for many parents. There are so many questions and issues that arise. The courts are closed and once they do open up will be so backlogged, getting issues handled seems daunting.  Here are a few tips to consider:

1.  Think about your children and how hard this is for them. Talk to them in a way they can understand about how important it is to keep connections going with both parents. Be open to hearing their fears and worries about COVID-19 and help them feel safer. 

One of the most difficult things about the stay home order is the big impact on kids. Their entire life has been disrupted. In kid years, a month seems like forever. Not going to school, no sports or important activities, no scouts or clubs, no socializing. Adults are facing lay-offs and job change and everyone is trying to cope the very best way that they can. Here are some ideas for how you can help your kids:

I recently heard an interesting statistic. Parents have only 37 minutes of meaningful contact with their children daily. When put in these terms, all the communication you have is much more important. In those very few minutes, we need to convey values, check in on feelings, discuss the schedule for the next day, check on homework, and try to have a few minutes of laughter. Here are a few things to think about, to ensure that you give your kids depth.

The next time you go out to dinner, take a look around the restaurant. Chances are you will see people, at most tables, not engaged in conversation with each other. You will likely see people checking their phones or gaming on their electronic devices.

Ask yourself this: can you get through a meal without checking your phone for emails or texts? Do you get up first thing in the morning and check your messages? Are you on your phone or lap top right up until you go to bed?

Most children and adolescents are addicted to their electronics. How you can tell is their reaction to its removal. Children are gaming and texting until wee hours of the morning. It’s impacting their sleep, causing them to feel disconnected to others, interfering with reading, schoolwork and exercise. It is causing depression and anxiety. Parents are not emotionally connecting as much as th

A sixth grade boy is up at bat. Instead of focusing on the pitcher and whether or not he should swing, his mind is focusing on his parents in the stands. Will his dad yell at his mom? Will his mom give a dirty look at his dad? Will there be a fight in the parking lot on the way to the car where his friend's parents feel the need to call the police to "keep the peace"? Will he be able to recover from the embarrassment he feels as EVERYONE on his team sees his parents behaving badly? He wonders if he should quit the team...not because he hates baseball.

Sometimes, in the midst of recovering from divorce and child related issues, reaching out to help someone else makes a difference and helps redefine family priorities. Children often get so caught up in their own issues with their parents and all the family changes, they forget how much they do have and just how fortunate they are - even in the midst of challenges.

Maybe you can help them by asking your kids what issues are important to them. This does not have to be a super big project, because if everyone did something on a regular basis, it would make a difference.

Have you noticed, people don’t greet each other anymore? We just start in with our own needs, with retail clerks, restaurant workers and sometimes even our friends.

When was the last time you asked someone how their day has been? Are we really in that much of a hurry? Is this what we want our children to see and how we want them to grow up? 

Sooner or later you will want to start dating again. You will discover that dating after a divorce is a lot different than when you dated in your single days. Now there are babysitting issues and sleepover issues that simply did not exist before. Since you are a parent, you know that it is important to convey the right message about relationships and sexuality and because of that it is important to think things through, remembering that your behavior is sending a message to your children and that they will eventually model your behavior in their relationships.

Holidays are for families to be together. They are magical times of giving and sharing special moments. When you are divorced, you can no longer spend the entire Christmas or Hanukkah season with your children. Chances are the custodial timeshare is that you have half of the time and you ex has the other half. Even if you wanted the divorce, not spending a part of the holiday with your children hits your heart. The shift in the family also impacts your children, who now must be shuttled back and forth instead of being home with everyone at the same time.

It's official: school is starting. I can tell things are gearing up because of the commercials on television for school clothes and supplies. As a therapist who works with families in shared custodial situations, I find myself running into the same problems over and over with families as they learn how to be divorced, share custody and interface with the school system. Therefore, I thought I would take a few moments here to address the most frequently seen problems, as well as possible solutions: