Dr. Amy Stark
Child Psychologist, Author & Speaker
Teaching Families How to Live Divorced
and Self-Esteem for Girls and Boys
Food For Thought
Common courtesy is NOT common. In fact, it is very rare. I think some niceities have been lost in everyone’s rush to multi-task. Even if you don’t have your kids full time, they can still learn simple yet elegant manners and kindnesses. One of the first things is making sure that you are setting the standard youself. As you go through the drive-thru, are you kind or angry with the person who takes the order? When a mistake is made, do you go ballistic or speak with them nicely, conveying the message that mistakes happen, not that they are an incompetent idiot. Do they see you work well with others, or do you demonstrate that you are surrounded by morons at work. Do you have so many things to do that you can not give your phone calls undivided attention. Or do they see you setting limits on phone calls while with the family, letting your caller know when you return their call later that they deserved your undivided attention. Do they see you make faces while on the phone or make snide comments while texting. Or, are you polite and respectful to all who call or text, conveying that message in your body language and tone of voice. Are you so in a rush and over booked that you scream at the cars in front of you while you are driving. Instead, do you use the car time to politely discuss the day telling your kids its more important to arrive calm than ‘in a state’ by demonstrating just that. Every simple task that you are involved in while your kids are with you are opportunities to teach kindness, respect and courtesy. If you want your children to follow in your footsteps, look back and see where yours have been leading.
Dr. Stark's Web site is not intended to take the place of a court-ordered advice or the advice of another professional. Although you may use the input found here to your best advantage, we recommend that you do so in conjunction with the work that you are doing with your individual therapist. Remember: this Web site is not therapy; it's knowledge and support.
Psychologist License PSY7828, California213 E City Place Drive
Santa Ana, CA 92705