The bright spot in the day for myself and my neighbors is the butterfly nature habitat I have established, outside my office, on my front walkway. For a small area, it really performs and has attracted all sorts of wildlife to the area. 

I have bluebirds, coming daily to the bird feeder, now bringing their young to eat as well. The nature habitat has also attracted an athletic squirrel, who performs gymnastic-like tricks in the trees surrounding the habitat. 

There are many images on television and the internet that are hard for adults to comprehend, much less children. I have encouraged parents to minimize television contact for their much younger children. For children of school age, they are asking their parents why people are protesting and what the stealing is all about. It is confusing for them.   

For kids who have never experienced home schooling, having mom or dad – or both – now play that role is very hard. It’s important to:

1.  Create a learning environment somewhere in the house. Treat it as the classroom and separate it out from other areas in the house. 

Most kids in my practice know all about the virus, but are taken aback with the cancellation of parties, sports, and school. This can feel overwhelming to parents, too. Here are several ways parents can help their children keep calm and carry on in this new reality.  

·       Acknowledge your children’s disappointment and validate their feelings. Tell them everyone is disappointed, but health is the most important thing. Be honest. Tell them “we are all pulling back on everything to stop this virus from spreading and that means all of us have to do our part.”

I usually have a theme on the blackboard on the wall of my waiting room.  All my clients – child, teen and adult – always respond thoughtfully and the messages are read by everyone who comes in. This month’s theme is Leave Your Worries Behind and the responses have been a learning opportunity for everyone.

New Year’s resolutions. Why do we make them? Every year we have the desire to start the year off right and vow to correct troublesome behaviors or turn a new leaf in our relationships. Typically people pick impossible to do goals that have not been successful before, which make them believe that goal-setting does not work.

The largest cause of death for children under the age of 5 is drowning. Often times, parents think they are too busy for swim lessons, or they can do it themselves, or that floaties will work. Even scarier, parents assume that if they don't have a safety gate around the pool that they will hear the door opening and will know when their child falls into the pool. In order to have a safe, fun summer, parents should consider the following steps to insure their child's safety.

Did you know kids lose nearly three months of knowledge over summer vacation?  This is why parents need a summer learning plan. 

Parents need to insist that kids become a part of the plan, with incentives, and their involvement as well. These 5 easy ways may help your children start school remembering last year instead of being behind the learning curve:

·       Ask them to read a book every two weeks

·       Review a math page one time a week

·       Ask them to figure out costs at the grocery store or restaurant

Sometimes, in the midst of recovering from divorce and child related issues, reaching out to help someone else makes a difference and helps redefine family priorities. Children often get so caught up in their own issues with their parents and all the family changes, they forget how much they do have and just how fortunate they are - even in the midst of challenges.

Maybe you can help them by asking your kids what issues are important to them. This does not have to be a super big project, because if everyone did something on a regular basis, it would make a difference.

Have you noticed, people don’t greet each other anymore? We just start in with our own needs, with retail clerks, restaurant workers and sometimes even our friends.

When was the last time you asked someone how their day has been? Are we really in that much of a hurry? Is this what we want our children to see and how we want them to grow up? 

It is important to have a holiday tradition that you share with your child every year.

My dogs teach me so much about love. They are so accepting of everyone’s moods…

I am amazed at how many families, divorced or otherwise have forgotten about the importance of the family meal. Lets look at what this magical time gives you and your family.

Parents in the midst of divorce conflict are missing the boat…and so are their kids. When the focus is on who gets the most time, who gets to pick the kid’s activities, who should make the medical decisions, there is often not enough time to help...

Very often parents come in, amidst court difficulties and immediately state that its really not THEIR fault. They point out they have done everything they have been asked to do, and IF ONLY their ...

Common courtesy is NOT common. In fact, it is very rare. I think some niceities have been lost in everyone’s rush to multi-task. Even if you don’t have your kids full time, they can still learn simple yet elegant manners and kindnesses. One of the first things is ...

What does it mean to be a gatekeeping parent. The term is widely used among the family court judicial officers. When you are the gatekeeper parent you are the one that has the children the majority of the time. So, how can you do your job when ...

It's the New Year. Have you taken the time to discuss goals with your child? I don’t mean just material ones like a new bike or more games for the gaming system. I means true goals that you might like to help them achieve and perhaps goals they might like as well. Right around this time of year I like to ask kids ...

Sooner or later, after your parents divorce, they will start dating other people. Because I know you want your parents to be happy, and not be alone, there are some things to think about that might make watching your parents date easier for you.

The holiday season is here. I'll bet you have already made your holiday gift wish list and are wondering what presents you are going to get. Since your parents are divorced, chances are you will be spending time with each one of them during the holiday season. Although it's different than past Holidays when your family was altogether, this holiday can be just as much fun. Here are some ideas to help make things better for you and for your family:

I am sure you all have noticed that school commercials started in July. One of the teens who comes to me for therapy told me that he felt that he did not get a rest from thinking about school because of the commercials. As much of a bummer as it might be, it's 'that' time again. Besides the usual worries (what teacher you are going you have? Will any of your friends be in your class and what clothes to buy), you have your parents to deal with. Going back and forth is sometimes a pain. However, there are some things you can do to make it easier:

Halloween is so much fun. I am sure that you have been thinking about what you want to be for at least a month now. It's so much fun to dress up and go door to door to get candy with your parents and friends. I'll bet that you can hardly wait.

Because your parents are divorced you must wonder if your Halloween will change...especially if your family used to celebrate the day together when your parents were still married. That must make you a little uncertain about how this Halloween will go.

There are some things you can do to make the night go better for you.

Sooner or later you will want to start dating again. You will discover that dating after a divorce is a lot different than when you dated in your single days. Now there are babysitting issues and sleepover issues that simply did not exist before. Since you are a parent, you know that it is important to convey the right message about relationships and sexuality and because of that it is important to think things through, remembering that your behavior is sending a message to your children and that they will eventually model your behavior in their relationships.

Holidays are for families to be together. They are magical times of giving and sharing special moments. When you are divorced, you can no longer spend the entire Christmas or Hanukkah season with your children. Chances are the custodial timeshare is that you have half of the time and you ex has the other half. Even if you wanted the divorce, not spending a part of the holiday with your children hits your heart. The shift in the family also impacts your children, who now must be shuttled back and forth instead of being home with everyone at the same time.

It's official: school is starting. I can tell things are gearing up because of the commercials on television for school clothes and supplies. As a therapist who works with families in shared custodial situations, I find myself running into the same problems over and over with families as they learn how to be divorced, share custody and interface with the school system. Therefore, I thought I would take a few moments here to address the most frequently seen problems, as well as possible solutions: