Dr. Amy Stark
Child Psychologist, Author & Speaker
Teaching Families How to Live Divorced
and Self-Esteem for Girls and Boys
Food For Thought
Leave Your Worries Behind
I usually have a theme on the blackboard on the wall of my waiting room. All my clients – child, teen and adult – always respond thoughtfully and the messages are read by everyone who comes in. This month’s theme is Leave Your Worries Behind and the responses have been a learning opportunity for everyone.
When the theme first went up, one of the parents in my practice said he thought it was genius as a theme, because the kids could see that they all worry about similar things. He then took the time to write something he worried about. Miraculously, so did the other parents. The themes included:
· worry about their kids growing up well and healthy
· worry about finances
· worry about spending enough time with their kids during split custody parenting plans
The kids had other worries, ranging from getting on a team to getting good grades. Some kids in the middle of custodial squabbles wrote that they worried they would lose time with one of their parents.
The other interesting thing is some of the parents began to comment on the worries made by other parents. They would write ‘I agree, my worry too’ or say to me ‘I guess I am not the only one who feels that way’.
The older kids also began to do the same thing. One child commented that he was afraid of the dark and another kid gave me advice to give to him. ‘Tell him he isn't the only one. I used to be that way. Now I know I am safe. Tell him he will get through it’.
Everyone has taken the time to write a worry they have and try to leave it here...taking home the idea that they worry, so does everyone else, and they are not alone. It is a reminder to us all to share with those close to us what we really worry about and get support from family and friends to put the worry in perspective. When we know we are not alone, we can feel supported to leave the worry behind and spend time taking action on making real and lasting changes in our lives.
Then, we can all learn to leave our worries behind.
Dr. Stark's Web site is not intended to take the place of a court-ordered advice or the advice of another professional. Although you may use the input found here to your best advantage, we recommend that you do so in conjunction with the work that you are doing with your individual therapist. Remember: this Web site is not therapy; it's knowledge and support.
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Santa Ana, CA 92705