Dr. Amy Stark
Child Psychologist, Author & Speaker
Teaching Families How to Live Divorced
and Self-Esteem for Girls and Boys
Food For Thought
The Process of Self-Esteem
We live in a fast food, fast paced world where we want ‘ instant’ everything. Self esteem is not ‘instant”. It is a process. When you look at it that way, you can better understand that you must constantly maintain it and that it continues to evolve and change directions.
Just as you do not brush your teeth once, and then never again…self esteem must be worked on daily. Check in with your self esteem every day. How do you feel about yourself today?
I always tell my friends that since I am still on the planet I still have much to both teach and to learn. I sometimes complain that with all my watchfulness I should have no issues to resolve and then my friends gently remind me of my own words…you are still on the planet…you are still both the teacher and the learner.
Then I look at the issues at hand, try to discover their source, become thankful for the learning experience and have a better understanding of what has happened and what it has taught me. Layer upon layer of issues come to the surface…some from the past and some from the present. I look at them and if need be, get the perspective of a friend to uncover the lessons I most need to learn. With the mantra of “it is what it is”, I then march through them, knowing that all will be okay. This is where confidence begins.
It's not just about how you look or what you wear, it is so much deeper than that. Do not be afraid to assess each day how you feel about what has happened, gently reminding yourself that you are evolving and growing with awareness. When you know it is a process your deeper sense of self grows by leaps and bounds.
Dr. Stark's Web site is not intended to take the place of a court-ordered advice or the advice of another professional. Although you may use the input found here to your best advantage, we recommend that you do so in conjunction with the work that you are doing with your individual therapist. Remember: this Web site is not therapy; it's knowledge and support.
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Santa Ana, CA 92705