Dr. Amy Stark

Child Psychologist, Author & Speaker

Specializing in:
Teaching Families How to Live Divorced
and Self-Esteem for Girls and Boys

Food For Thought

Food For Thought

Support System

Recently I had a situation happen that upset me. I went to a colleague and asked for support. Instead of an understanding ear, I received a shame session. I heard, ‘how long have you been working”…”why are you upset”, instead of “ I will listen and help you re-gain your perspective”. I was reminded of the importance of a proper support system. As you work on your self esteem it is important to surround yourself with friends who will address your faults in a loving way and lend moral support when needed. I do not have close friends who falsely flatter me when I am wrong or should look at something. My friends point things out so that I can see them…the difference is that the ones who will remain close are the ones who are not negative in the process. I was also reminded of the importance of giving feedback without undermining and know that since I experienced this I must apply it to all the feedback that I give, making sure that I do not minimize someone’s pain…also making sure that I do not help them make it bigger than it should be. When we are put down it's a reminder about who we should trust, how we want to be spoken to and how we should try to speak to others….all a lesson in the journey.

* Disclaimer:
Dr. Stark's Web site is not intended to take the place of a court-ordered advice or the advice of another professional. Although you may use the input found here to your best advantage, we recommend that you do so in conjunction with the work that you are doing with your individual therapist. Remember: this Web site is not therapy; it's knowledge and support.

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